Oh hiiii.

Yeah hiiii. It’s, like, practically October and I haven’t been ’round since Ireland.  If you’re a shite blogger and you know it, clap your hands.

Clap.
Clap.

Anyhow, I’m in Econ class and I feel like I’ve already contributed my contribution for the day in the form of a correction to an equation, so I’ve tuned out.

Speaking of, HA!  WHO DOES THAT! THIS obnoxious piece of shit Hermione-Granger-esque bitch, THAT’S WHO!  I was always jealous of those kids who could look at something and be all, “you’re missing a quotient” or “shouldn’t there be a negative sign there”  – and now I am one. And it feels awesome.

Pride, the fall.  Probably I’ll just go ahead and fail the rest of the class now.

Back in town.

I was gone for a while, and now I’m back. The weekend will be a clusterfuck of fun, and then I’ll tell you about it. The stuff I didn’t already say, that is.

I should tell you, I should tell you.

Recap of shit I meant to say but never did.

• Into the Woods: I fucking ruled at it and I want to do it again.
• Eugene: hippies live there, and so did I.  For a weekend.
• The accidental shattering of illusion: it totally blows your mind.
• Dating: meh.
• Scooters: I bought one and it rocks my world.
• Getting old: stop talking about it, stop doing it, stop time, thanks.
• Migraines: I used to think people who had them were sissies.  And then I had one.  And then I had a break, for, like, four years.  And then it came back.  And migraines can suck it.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say later.  Say, in the middle of class.  ‘Cause that’s how I roll.

Move on.

Today is the end of an era.  Oh, dear, I shouldn’t even type this right now.  No, come on, self, get it together – it’s not as if anyone has died.  You weepy girl.  Suck it up.

Okay.  Today is the end of an era.  The boss-man is leaving the University.

We have had years, now – five full years of good times and support and friendship and celebration and growth.  He hired me on the recommendation of a faculty member, sight unseen, to manage the complete void of his office; and when his assistant proved to be entirely useless, he sacked her and installed me in her place ’til we could get a full-time replacement.  And now he’s out of here.

He’s got a promotion, and he’s moving on up in the world.  He can make some real change at this new University, and he will be on the right track to do what he really wants to do.  He’s tanned, rested and ready.  This office won’t be the same without him.  Hell, this University won’t be the same without him.

He was my first real-world boss and he is my friend, and I’ll miss him.  But for now, since I have to keep my shit together, I’ll remember that we have Cinqo de Mayo to celebrate, and another party next Friday, and he’ll be back for graduation.  It’ll be easy to pretend he’s just on a business trip.

It’s not goodbye.

New hair, fresh attitude.

Love love love my new ‘do.  It’s very Mary Martin as Peter Pan.  My bangs don’t want to do that Portman piece-y thing, but that’s okay.  I’m not Natalie Portman.  (Unfortunately.  She is hot.)

8:30am and I am already screwing around at work.  God I am a terrible employee.  And yet!

What are your current obsessions?
Stalking people on facebook, mango SoyJoy bars, my new ring with the tiniest diamond you ever did see, the song Love Quiz, Andrea Burns, Hanes boxer-brief-cut women’s underwear from Target, the lyrics to Into the Woods.

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?
I have this black cardigan I got at Sears in, god.  2005?  It was too small for a long time, but I wore it anyhow, and now it actually fits and it’s just exactly right.  Three-quarter sleeves, just right over a tank top, good weight for feeling like I’m wearing something but not restrictive or, god forbid, itchy.

What’s for dinner?
Balls, I don’t know yet.  Probably something super classy like a sandwich from Starbucks on the way to church choir.

What is your greatest fear at the moment?
That I will make the wrong decision about which path to take and always regret not pursuing the other.  (And… cue Sondheim.)

Stop worrying where you’re going – move on.
If you can know where you’re going, you’ve gone
Just keep moving on.

I chose, and my world was shaken – so what?
The choice may have been mistaken,
The choosing was not.
You have to move on.

What are you listening to?
My ‘mellow’ mix, which is currently playing Wild Bird from Spitfire Grill.  Up next is some Jason Robert Brown.  Yeah, baby!  Musical theatre!  I LOVE IT TOO MUCH.

If you were a god/goddess what would you be?
I’d have a big fat dose of knowledge and a glowing aura and the ability to instantaneously flit from place to place.  No wings, no need, but flying? Yes. I’d float around and secretly give the deserving people little gifties that will make their lives easier, but I would also be a mothereffin’ BAMF and a half.

What are your favourite holiday spots?
The Inn of the Seventh Mountain, Bend, OR, and Victoria, B.C. – but I’ll probably have more when I have more holidays.

What are you reading right now?
Whatever I can get my hands on.  The script for this show I might music direct.

What are four words that describe you?
Busy, satisfying, qualified, and unqualified.

What is your guilty pleasure?
Oh lord.  Facebook.

Who or what makes you laugh?
Boss-Lady.  This morning, I asked her a question, and her answer was, “Not partic.”  I called her on the awesome abbrev, and she said, “I can’t believe you’ve never heard that.  Old as the hills and twice as dusty.”  Wow.  You so crazy, BL.

What is your favourite spring thing to do?
Open the blinds and open the window and take a deep breath. And then go outside on the porch and have a corona with lime, some chips and salsa, and enjoy the fact that it’s light beyond 6pm.

Where are you planning to travel next?
I am taking a weekend drive to Eugene, OR at the end of May!

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?
I had a plate of tapas with my friend Squeezebean, and the lobster crostini was amazing.  It might have been partially because I also had a glass of wine.

When was the last time you were tipsy?
Good lord, watch out for me: I am officially a newly-minted lightweight.  Last night, after half a beer – but before I had any dinner, so it’s okay.  I ate.  And then I drove.

What is you favourite ever film?
Ever?  Dear me.  My go-to films are Love, Actually and Sense & Sensibility, but honestly, I think my favorite ever is The Sound of Music.  One of my new goals in life is to play Maria.  On a stage.  Somewhere.  Even if it’s just me and some damn puppets and a stage.

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?
“I have no children.”
“That’s okay, too.”

What song can’t you get out of your head?
Goddamn Rockband, Fucking MAPS.  (They don’t love you like I love you.)

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?
Goddamn any Gabriel Garcia Marquez.  I just can’t handle it.  One Hundred Confusing Years of Dudes with the Same Name.  Love in the Time of You Can’t Get Past the First Six Pages.

What is your physical abnormality/abnormal physical ability?
Tiny hands, tiny feet.  Like a carnie.  Also, I can contort my head and neck into a bizarre massive lump of dinosaur-like flesh.  It’s called NECKFACE.

The rules of this meme are as follows:
- Respond to and rework the meme.
- Answer the questions on your own blog.
- Replace one question and add one question.
- Tag some people.

I hereby charge the following people with the right to accept or deny my invitation to do this meme:
-Megawats
-Neelia
-Glitter Paint Pony
-Monfrer
-Saucy of NoWoman’sLand

Out of the woods, but not out of the woods.

Shupdates:

• According to all the new test results, it’s just hypothyroidism.
• According to the scale, I have lost thirty-seven pounds.  37!
• According to the local newspapers, I did a good job in the musical.
• According to the calendar – but not according to the weather – it’s springtime.
• I can’t wait to get this haircut:

• I want to audition for all the shows in the universe, because this last one was just so much damn fun.
• I am in denial about the fact that my boss-boss is leaving in a week.

Now that I’m back in a sort-of human mode of living, I’ll try to be a little more active here.  Sorry.  But not overly sorry, ’cause I’m not deceiving myself that anyone beyond the folks on my speed-dial actually read this thing.

Liebe!

Unqualified.

“Hi, Yvanka, this is (an awesome and sweet guy you know) from Into the Woods. Hey I was, I have just been hired as director for Tom Sawyer the Musical for the Playhouse coming this season. And, we got to talking about production staff, and your name came up as possible musical director. And, I was wondering if you would be interested in being musical director for… this… show! Let’s talk, okay? Please give me a call.”

WHOA.

I was under the impression that to be a musical director for a musical, you had to be able to do certain specific things. I mean, I have a history of directing things (see: church choir) and working with large and diverse groups of people (see: my undergraduate degree), but there is one big fat sticking point:

I can’t play the piano.

You see, generally, to be a music director, you need to plaaaaaaaay.

I’m going to talk to my friend the New Director today and make sure he knows that, um, he’d have to also hire an accompanist. I do have connections for that, but still. Budget!

Also, do I even want to do this? I don’t know! I don’t know this show, I was going to audition for other shows (that I DO know), oh and also something about two jobs and a grad school degree?

God. Ridiculous. Why am I even considering it.

*sigh*

Pendulum.

So, today, I took one of these in preparation for doing one of these.  Because I have one of these.

I have hypothyroidism.  I’ve had hypothyroidism for years, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in high school.  (Here’s a page about it – but if you don’t feel like any more links, the general deal is that it screws up my metabolism because my thyroid doesn’t produce enough of the right hormone.)

I also have a goiter.  It’s a little one, not usually visible, but when I had a baseline ultrasound for it about six weeks ago they discovered that it was multinodular — and that there was at least one suspicious nodule within the group.  So, further tests!  Which is what I did today.  I had to go off of my medication (which SUCKS, because it took forever to find the right dosage) and do all of the above.

The technician man, Dave, who was very nice, was talking to me about all the reasons for these tests, what they tend to diagnose, about goiters, blah blah blah, usually for hyperthyroidism.  I mentioned, offhandedly, that I had hyPOthyroidism.  So then he did the test.

And then he told me that I had hyPERthyroidism. (See here.)

Now, how does that make sense?  My neck underproduces hormones for years and then I stop taking the medicine and it jumpstarts into high gear?

Wth.

Dave the Nuclear Medicine Man suggested that maybe they’d put me on the hormone stuff to suppress the goiter.  (No.)  Or that I made a mistake. (No. I just checked my online medical record stuff, and very clearly: hypo.) The internet is giving me no help.  So!  I wait.

I have thyroid uptake exam part 2, tomorrow.  And then I’ll get to talk to my doctor, and be all, “Hey what?”

Until then, I have a radioactive neck.  Watch out.

Wow, do I ever suck donkey balls.

Blog? Who said what about a blog?  Oh, RIGHT.  Me.

Well, I am a dumbass who takes on ever more projects.  So there’s an excuse.  But really, that’s what it is: an excuse.  But also a blog is not a front-runner in my life.  Me sorries.

Anyhow, rehearsals are going well!  I got a nice compliment from the guy that is playing across from me (who is awesome).  We were talking about our past show experiences, and, you know, I have very few.   This is my first REAL ROLE EVER, and my show-husband was surprised to hear that, and said “You carry yourself like you’ve done this hundreds of times.”  That was a lovely thing to hear from an intimidatingly good actor.

Also, I went on a new-friend-date the other day, and it was LOVELY, and I have definitely made a new friend.  We were chatting last night about all things and sundry, and she told me that she would date me if she were into ladies, because I am perfect.  (!)

So, this perfect professional is gonna try to do a better job keeping in touch, blog-wise.  Wish her luck!

Oh hi there.

I am the dumbest one y’all know.

Here’s what I did.

I auditioned for a show.

Let’s put that into context. I am a full-time employee at one job, and a .425 FTE employee at another.  That makes me 1.425 employed.  In addition, I am a ‘full-time’ MBA student, which this term means I am taking New Venture Management and Corporate Finance for a total of six credits.  Nine credits is the max load, which means I am .663 a student.  Which brings me to a quantifiable total of 2.088 of a person.

And I auditioned for a show.

It’s my favorite show, though, and Glitterpony auditioned too.  What could I do?  Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor!  Besides, I hoped that I would get cast but I didn’t really think that I would, ’cause the last time I performed in a lead role was 2006, for a friend’s musical theatre workshop.  Every other time I auditioned at the University I got a part that was some variation on ’soloist in the chorus’ or ‘old lady’, and, unfailingly, backstage conductor/chorusmaster/rehearsal assistant.  So can you blame me for thinking I wouldn’t get a part?

But then HOLY SHIT.  I got the part.  I got the part I wanted, my favorite part in my favorite show.  And GP got HER favorite part in our favorite show.  And all things are magical and wonderful.

Except the part where I remember that I’m already 2.088.

Oh, and I’m taking ceramics lessons in the mornings, again.

Angels in heaven above, protect me from my own foolishness.  Please don’t let me do something ridiculous like take another job or have a health crisis or get into a car accident or get sued.  Let me get through this time without losing my sanity.

Now, this is the only place where I will admit that I’m nervous about this undertaking – you are the people who know of my trepidation.  As far as my family knows, all is hunky-dory and I am a magic lady who just is doing another silly wonderful thing.  I keep telling them, “Wishes may bring problems, such that you regret them – better that, though, than to never get them!”

But here, I can tell you this: yikes.