New-age puritanism.

June 6, 2008

I should be reading for the class that technically began one minute ago. Instead, I am updating my blog for the second time in one day. My professor is directly in front of me, and my classmates are on either side and behind. I am such a slacker.

Today I can’t participate effectively because, um, I didn’t read the chapters. Also, I have a headache. Also, I am not interested in the topic. Also, I don’t wanna. And I don’t feel like it. Plus I’m tired. Waaaah.

I wasn’t always the most enormous slacker in the history of time. I used to do work, effectively. Ah, seventh grade, how I miss you. You were the good old days of bangs and braces and big-ass glasses. AND boyfriends. God, I had all of my boyfriends in junior high. It wasn’t the look — must’ve been the work ethic. And then it started to flag – both the boyfriends and the work ethic – when my attention to looks increased and I began to sense an increased awareness of… my… ahem, how do you say. Personal preference in relationships. Though, of course, not fully, for years. ANYHOW, more about that later. What I’m saying is that I went through puberty. Here come the hormones, there goes the work ethic. But, magically, I kept the grades!

In high school I got excellent grades, and I can’t remember doing a single bit ‘o homework. I was the president of my clubs, a high ranker in advanced placement courses – I was a National Merit Scholar, for fuck’s sake! I didn’t crack a book for the SATs, and I was a straight A student. Studying just wasn’t necessary. (Good thing, too, ’cause I had enough extracurricular activities to choke a horse. …what?) And with a lack of necessity came a lack of work ethic, which has permeated my attitude pretty much since then.

Hey, college years! Thanks for coming along for the nostalgia! Remember how I completed most of my final exams in short hours the day they were due? Remember that I did best on my philosophy exams after a beer? Remember how my freshman year roommate was so damn pissed that she started a major religion final three weeks before it was due, I pumped it out in less than three days, and I got a better grade than she did? Remember the time I went to conducting, still drunk from the evening before, and volunteered to play the piano – the piano! I don’t play the piano! – and aced that shit? Remember all the times I went to work instead of studying? ME TOO.

I’m not saying that I don’t bust my hump to get shit done when shit needs gettin’ done. But I am saying that the majority of my time, and especially when it comes to school, I am a lazy-assed bitch. Right now, for example: I should be reading the chapters I fudged on for the evening, or researching for the gigantor final exam worth 80% of my grade. Instead, I am watching Step it Up and Dance and updating my new blog. What.

One of these days, that nonsense is gonna bite me in the ass. I’m in a graduate program, for eff’s sake. GRADUATE LEVEL courses, and I’m callin’ it in. Why? What’s the damn deal?


In news unrelated to my personal foolishness, I heard the BEST QUOTE EVER during class tonight. And so, since it’s late and I’ve blathered on about how awesome/ridiculous I am for long enough, I leave you with the following gem:

“Artificial hip recalls… what a drag.”



One Response to “New-age puritanism.”

  1. GlitterPaintPony Says:

    You always were the queen of bullshit. And magic. 🙂 LOVE!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: