Expectations are high.

June 27, 2008

I have completed about 45% of my exam, due Sunday.  I am going to bed.  If I need to stay up all night tomorrow night, I will.  If that is the case, it will be my first all-nighter.  I hope that I can manage to keep myself on track tomorrow, instead.  That would give me about three hours on Sunday for final proofing and catching previously unseen issues. 

I always do this, and it’s always fine, but it always feels like now, this is the time I will have fucked it up, you know?  And it could be.  It’s easier than I thought it would be and it’s harder than I expected.  Both of those things give me the anxiety.

I’m extra nervous for two reasons.  One: my professor thinks I get it.  And I do, in class – but also, I have the book open and I’m extremely quick at finding the relevant chapter and, subsequently, the right answer.  Also my logical reasoning is pretty strong.  But I feel like she’s probably expecting a stellar showing from me. Yikes.

Two: My wonderful boss-lady said to me that she expects that if anyone can pull it off, it’s me.  She keeps saying things like that and, first, I don’t think she fully means them.  Sigh.  But secondly, I do want to impress her.  She’s going to ask me what grade I got in the class, and I don’t want to have to lie.  Because, did I mention?  This exam is worth 80% of the final grade.


And I update my blog.  Oh, me.


2 Responses to “Expectations are high.”

  1. StephLove Says:

    My partner was that way in school. And she hardly ever prepares for presentations at work; she just wings them. For some people it works. Not me, though. I have to pace myself. Well, I did, back when I had a paying job.

  2. StephLove Says:

    p.s. Good luck on the exam.

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