Stuff and nonsense.

August 26, 2008

I think I assign too much thought – too much feeling – to inanimate objects.  I get attached in ways that are likely beyond the norm.

I had this car, a Honda Accord, for several years.  She had a name.  Her name was Beatrice.  When we needed to tell a secret, or share an opinion that must needs go unheard by the unspoilt ears external, my friends and I would wait to enter the sanctity of Beatrice before spilling the precious vapor of the untold.

When Beatrice started to lose her energy, her spark, her verve (and her brake pads), I began to search for a new vehicular pal.  I found her in Lizzie – Eliza Eglantine – the comely Subaru Legacy, who has thus far been nothing short of excellent.  However, since my folks actually owned Beatrice, when I took the plunge and bought Lizzie, they made arrangements to sell Beatrice.

I cried.  I lost my shit, I wept over my sweet car.  We’d had such times together.  And I didn’t even get to say goodbye.  I drove Lizzie home after her tuneup, and Beatrice was just gone.  I found out later that she hadn’t even gone to some poor high school loser in need of a first car – she went to a man we knew was a shady drug dealer, who cannibalized her for her parts!

I felt terrible – almost worse than I felt after my initial betrayal.  Such a good car, she deserved a much sweeter end than to be disassembled and distributed across the plains.

When I got my Samsung flip phone, I felt bad for abandoning my little blue phone – and now, when I got my iPhone, my elation and enthusiasm were marred with a sense of guilt over my Samsung, now forever quiet on the window ledge.

And now, I feel I must betray my computer.

I won’t be getting a new one yet – replacing you would be expensive, little one, and you’ve been very dear to me.  Even though that one time you downloaded all the porn in the universe, unbidden, and caused a massive system failure and hundreds of dollars of repair work.  I understand.  It was just a mistake.

But now, you’re winding down.  Our time together is coming to an end, and we can both see that.  It’s not that I don’t love you, old computer – it’s just that you’re not quite giving me what it is I need right now.  I’m sorry.  I know it hurts.

I’m saving for a Mac.

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One Response to “Stuff and nonsense.”

  1. David Says:

    I think it’s a good choice to getting a mac and I would cry too!


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