October 31, 2008
Number one: I just went to check out my site, and my October 30 x365 never auto-published. So I investigated, and sure ’nuff, it was scheduled to post at 8:04am on Oct 30. So. What. Weird. I re-saved and BAM, here we are.
Number two: Had a wonderfully fun night with good friends, but I ate some tacos that turned on me in the nighttime. Not so good for the morningtime. Plus, when I get the ladytime, I also get the cranky tummybox. (I hear this goes away once you push a baby out your vodangles.) So anyhow, ladytime + tummybox pre-disposed to timely crankiness + fish tacos = bad news. Also it meant I didn’t get into ceramics today to get my throw on, which: balls. Today was gonna be the day that I made a bowl without knocking it off the bat. Ah, well. Monday.
Number three: Last night, in dreamland…
Laquesha, Zsa-Zsa and I went to Oprah’s mansion and stayed in her guest apartment. In the morning, I got up to find our host – someone was supposed to have given us a wake-up call, but that never happened, and I wanted to make sure we were on time. Zsa-Zsa was on the couch, with the TV on, wearing a night mask.
The carpeting was mint green and the walls had ornate molding, and it felt like a hotel lobby. Nobody was around. It was very quiet. I tiptoed through a hallway, looked to the left and practically lost my shit. But it was just a life-sized cardboard cutout of Suze Orman wearing a tennis outfit.
I went outside, and it was time to set up for that afternoon’s Carnivale. My ex-boyfriend was standing next to the fountain in his tux, bowtie undone, obviously hungover from the night before when he’d gone out to party after his master’s recital. He walked directly into the spray and opened his arms wide, like he was receiving a benediction.
When I got back to the room, Zsa-Zsa was on the couch, still, eating Jack-in-the-Box. Laquesha was in the bathroom. I started my mission again, but I found you, and you poured me a cup of tea and looked into your lap. You were sad, but resolute, and you sighed a little bit and then said to me, “There is something I must tell you.”
And the alarm went off.
October 31, 2008
Little lady, you are a brick wall. When I was babysitting your children, one of them stepped on a hook, and pierced his tiny foot. I didn’t want to tell you about the incident, because I was nervous that you would roll out a hellacious smackdown. You didn’t, though. Thanks.
October 30, 2008
You’re a big burly dude who likes drinking, country music, motorcycle riding, and sitting on your ass watching television. You’re also pretty damn nice, and you make my aunt feel good about herself. Stay out of trouble and lower your cholesterol and live a little while, and it’s all good.
October 29, 2008
I’m sorry about the time we all sat in a circle and berated you for your lack of skills. You were pretty bad, I remember that, but nobody deserves to have all the cool kids and all the not-so-cool kids single you out to tell you how awful you’re doing.
October 28, 2008
You seem so pleasantly unconcerned with the usual practicalities of life, so ethereal and above the worries of the rest of us mortals, it’s surprising to me how practical, reasonable and funny you really are. You are exactly the sort of sweet-natured person that enriches lives without ever realizing it.
October 27, 2008
Jillian Michaels is a hardcore bitch, but she is efficient. After working out with her three days in a row, I basically want to die, and my calves are so sore that every time I stand up I’m reminded how much I hate Jillian Michaels.
I am sick sick sick of political ads. It’s over! I voted! The end!
Franco Sartos are beautiful shoes, and I had to restrain myself from buying a pair that were essentially the same as a pair I already own, but in the ‘Artist Series’. I was able to convince myself that it wasn’t a good idea because then I would neglect the pair I already own and love.
I have some lovely flimsy scarves, but I don’t wear them tied around my neck as a fashion accessory because I don’t think my head is big enough. Instead, they are adding some jaunty class to my desk chair.
I am trying to decide whether I should
a) keep on the graduation path that has me taking the maximum class load, off rotation, but graduating in December 2009, or…
b) change my path to the one that is slightly easier and on rotation, but not get to graduate in Spring of 2010.
Upstairs, to work out with Jillian the Mega-Bitch!
October 27, 2008
I asked you to study the demon barber, and helped you with some worthless ear training. We ate crappy microwave potatoes and watched depressing movies. You made me burst alternately into laughter and tears in our boring-ass class. Good times, bad times, and the rest is history. Love love love.
October 26, 2008
You were the third in what I now recognize as a strange love-triangle, but your heart was so big and open you could’ve accommodated more than just the two women you loved most. When you passed, you left a hole in your ladies’ hearts – thank God they had each other.
October 25, 2008
You think I’m funny, because you laugh at my dumbass jokes.
You think I’m cool, because you started using my nickname the first time you heard it.
You use a tone of impatience with your wife. You should quit that shit.
Why? Otherwise, I will break it off, that’s why!
October 24, 2008
When I sang for your mother’s funeral, I got the sense that she was a lovely and wonderful woman, that she was well-beloved and will be roundly missed. Though it would have made it impossible to sing (it was difficult as it was) I wish I could have known her.